Some Jokes **may be NSFW**

[m0nch1zzl3]

Some jokes I came across with, if you have some please feel free to share them here!

A man and a woman are standing in line at a hospital donation center.
‘Long line, huh?’ says the man. ‘What are you donating?’
‘Blood,’ the woman replies. ‘They pay 10 bucks a pint.’
‘I’m donating my sperm,’ says the man. ‘They pay $25 an ounce.’
A couple of weeks later, the man and woman meet again in the same line.
‘Hi there,’ says the man. ‘Donating some more blood?’
The woman shakes her head and mumbles, ‘Mmm-unnh!’


A little old lady shaking violently as she walks in to the pharmacy asks the salesperson ‘do you sell vibrators'.
Surprised by the request, the sales person says 'yes!'
The little old lady says: ‘Well, how do you turn the damn things off!'


A widow goes on her first date since her husband’s death, and afterward the two end up back at her place. Once in the bedroom, she takes off everything but her black panties.
‘You can touch me anywhere else,’ she says, ‘but down there I’m still mourning.’
‘I figured as much,’ says the man. He then proceeds to pull down his pants and put on a black condom. ‘If you don’t mind, I’d like to offer my deepest condolences.’

One day Mr. Jones, the president of a corporation, called his vice-president, Chris, into his office and said, ‘We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off.’ Chris looked at Mr. Jones and said, ‘Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire.’

The next morning Chris waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Chris said, ‘Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?’ Barbara replied, ‘You'd better jack off. I've got a headache.’